Today has been pretty hilarious so far. I don't know if it's my new boots, or the music in my ears or, generally, pretty damn good mood I am in... So, in the morning I was employed and then fired within three minutes. During the lunch break I went out to take some pictures and took a shot of some enormous icicles falling off the roof. The day was short, so I went home pretty early and popped in the post office on my way to get three more staple removers for my collection. Now, this is the climax of the day.
So, I'm waiting for the bus shivering in the cold when this bloke comes up. "Oh, I'm so tired, I've walked all the way from the metro station" - "Oh." (Very stupid of you, really) - "So, what's your name? I'm Vitaly." (I'm ignoring the question pretending that I didn't hear). .... "So, what's your name?" - "Sasha" - "I'm Vitaly" - "Pleasure" - "Do you live here?" - "Y..." - "Are you married?" - (Now, that's fast) "Erm... So many questions at once..." - "I'm not from here, actually" - (I can tell) - "I'm from Siberia". - "Oh, wow!" - "Yeah. I'm looking for a girlfriend. For a good girlfriend" - "Right" (Are you, now?) - "So, are you married?" - "No. Does it change anything?" - "I'm just wondering. What if your husband turns up now and beats me up..."
- "No, he won't" (I wish) - "Actually, I don't like it here too much" - "Really? Why?" - "I don't know... I liked it better in Moscow" - "Ohhhh... you should never tell this to locals... It's the worst insult you can think of" (Sorry, mate, your chances have just gone from zero to minus hundred). -
"It's not too cold here" - "Well, we're not in Siberia either" (You, bastard, I'm freezing)- ... "Right, I should go" And he left.
Today has been pretty hilarious so far. I don't know if it's my new boots, or the music in my ears or, generally, pretty damn good mood I am in... So, in the morning I was employed and then fired within three minutes. During the lunch break I went out to take some pictures and took a shot of some enormous icicles falling off the roof. The day was short, so I went home pretty early and popped in the post office on my way to get three more staple removers for my collection. Now, this is the climax of the day. 
So, I'm waiting for the bus shivering in the cold when this bloke comes up. "Oh, I'm so tired, I've walked all the way from the metro station" - "Oh." (Very stupid of you, really) - "So, what's your name? I'm Vitaly." (I'm ignoring the question pretending that I didn't hear). .... "So, what's your name?" - "Sasha" - "I'm Vitaly" - "Pleasure" - "Do you live here?" - "Y..." - "Are you married?" - (Now, that's fast) "Erm... So many questions at once..." - "I'm not from here, actually" - (I can tell) - "I'm from Siberia". - "Oh, wow!" - "Yeah. I'm looking for a girlfriend. For a good girlfriend" - "Right" (Are you, now?) - "So, are you married?" - "No. Does it change anything?" - "I'm just wondering. What if your husband turns up now and beats me up..." 
- "No, he won't" (I wish) - "Actually, I don't like it here too much" - "Really? Why?" - "I don't know... I liked it better in Moscow" - "Ohhhh... you should never tell this to locals... It's the worst insult you can think of" (Sorry, mate, your chances have just gone from zero to minus hundred). - 
"It's not too cold here" - "Well, we're not in Siberia either" (You, bastard, I'm freezing)- ... "Right, I should go" And he left.
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